Notes

I was getting ready for the college. While I was combing, I smiled. I remember, few days back, I used to dream of the things, and today, dreams come true. That day, the charm on my face, I still often miss that moment.
 I picked up my phone and read a text from Apoorva.  It was received earlier at 6:20 a.m.
‘Very Good Morning baby… Kunal, I am eagerly waiting to see you today. This may look dream to you, but trust me, everything is happening in real. Yours, Apoo’
‘Will be waiting for the lady, where I met her for the first time, the only difference would be, from today, the lady will be with me always’, I replied.
I used to sit with Rahul in the bus. I told him every detail of the happening. He looked be happy.
It was 8:50 a.m. when our bus reached the college. I asked Rahul to directly move to the class. I stood at the same place, where I was supposed to meet Apoorva. Two minutes later, I saw her entering from the gate. We exchanged the smile. She was with Mohit. She ignored him and approached me.What a wonderful moment it was!!

She came closer to me. And she held my hands, to join hers. When she touched my hand, I wanted nothing more than to hold it forever. She kept a small piece of paper in my hands and blinked her eyes slowly to keep it with me and said, “Read it when I will go.”
“I won’t let you go”, I smiled, “Apoorva, this is the place I started and see, today, I am here with you again. You are the best gift.”
She looked into my eyes and smiled in her

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Someone.

I kept smiling for few minutes and kept staring at the wall. All the things I wished to, happened to me just a moment back. This is what best part of love is. Love is living in the same lanes. Love is finding time for each other. It’s when, you know that your heart is

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Lakh Duniya Kahe, Tum Yahin ho :)

The lyrics of the song takes you to some other world. Listen to it wth your earphones on and eyes closed.
Lyrics attached here in
Lakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho

Lakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Meri har soch mein, meri har baat mein
Mere ehsaas mein, mere jazbaat mein
Tum hi tum ho, tum har kahin ho
Ho..
Lakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Ho..
Lakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Tum ne chodha hai kab saath mera
Thaame ho aaj bhi haath mera
Koi manzil koi rehguzar ho
Aaj bhi tum mere humsafar ho
Jaaon chahe jahan, tum wahin ho
Ho oh oh..
Lakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Ho..
Lakh duniya kahe, tum nahi ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Tum yahin ho, tum yahin ho
Issi gagan ke hawaaon mein tum ho....

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Sometimes, you just can't help it!

Sometimes things go wrong and no matter how hard you try, you just can't make them right again. That's when you accept the reality of today and plan the strategy for tomorrow !

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Accepting the truth.

Whole night, I kept looking at the bracelet. “What I am going to do with it now?” I thought. I walked out of the room and stood in the balcony. I looked up and imagined Somebody somewhere across the sky.

‘Why did you do this to me? I remember I talked to you last time when we were together. And today, You have made the things worse. I know, this is nobody’s fault, but, you can help me only right now. You already know every detail of the situation I am in. Unfortunately, I want to be out of it. Bring me calls, text, emails, trust…please. Today, that’s all I need to carry on, and it isn't much to ask You for. I am your child. You have done beyond enough for me, but I can't help but ask for more. Because, truly, you are the only one who can bring this storm to peace, who can un-shatter these broken pieces, who can smooth the pottery into something so perfect. So please, do this for me. Can on time be today? Please...?’
And I stood there for an hour in a false hope, waiting for some miracle to happen. It didn't  I recalled the time of last fest in the college, when we both became friends and I started taking dreams. Then came the time when they came true. We shared the priceless moments, though for a very short span. I wondered if I was only sleeping from last few months. I wished that it was merely a dream that I saw. But, I had to accept the truth and none stood there by my side to support me. I felt the chill that ran across my body many times. I wanted to jump from the balcony for a couple of seconds. Then, I struggled to make myself strong. My eyes were wet. I had nothing to do. I don’t smoke. I would have flown away the tensions in the rings of the smoke. Life had put me on a way that I couldn't decide and even think. All the emotions that I had collected from years were flowing out in tears and my mouth was zipped to silence. I could hear

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Love is when.

Love is when she makes coffee for me and takes a sip before giving it to me, to make sure the taste is OK.

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Memories never fade.

Our exams were over and the semester was over. The winter breaks were on. I stayed home and of course, on my laptop most of the time. My mother used to scold me for sitting on the computer continuously for hours. And then, the volume level of my woofers used to annoy everyone. New Year was approaching and I used to compare myself in every aspect with the year that was passing. I had found someone; I could pass my life with. It found a good friend, Tanisha, with whom I used to share my day talks. She was 2 year junior though. It was mid of August that year that I sent a random friend request to a girl, like a dumb boy would do. She didn't accept it so earlier. She was getting into our college in September. For a long time, we used to talk in messages, but we were not friends yet. And then, like slowly and slowly, things got better, we used to talk whole day. She was a cute little girl who would always send me a single smiley ‘:P’ at the end of every text. It was funny. She made me laugh often. Actually, we used to laugh. We never met in person, but we shared all. It was funny, but I liked it though. We never talked over phone, but we were texting friends. I loved it. That year, I was handling the responsibility at the auditorium where the fresher would sit and would listen to the boring ppts and other speeches. We met in person there only for the very first time. I, along with one of my friends, Iqbal was handling the stage during the stage for some starting informal conversation with the juniors. We told them about the college life and the rules. We made them comfortable and they joined us in laughter soon. We were asking few questions in between too. She dropped me a text, ‘Don’t ask me anything’. I looked at her and promised her with my eyes. She sent me a smiley. We met later during lunch and that too for a short span. She was a little kiddo, who had a smile on her face all the time even without reasons. Though I was a senior, I never presented like the one to her. We were friends. Often, she used to say, ‘ I wish you were

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Someday, I knew this will happen.

And then that smile fell off her face for the last time. And she was no longer perfect, no longer flawless. All that was left of her was a beautiful disaster.

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Life is unfair!

Life is indeed unfair. There are times when I’d stare at the sky at night and wonder why you are my entire universe when I’m not even a little star in yours.

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One morning!

I was thinking about Appoorva only. She had made a special place in our first conversation. I could still recall the complete scene. She was looking gorgeous. Appoorva … Appoorva...Appoorva… I wanted to talk to her that night. Talk about anything. I wanted to know her. I wanted to share everything thing with her that night. She had totally made me crazy. I wished to wake up earlier to see her as she had the first speech of the day. I went back to the room. I put up earphones and played the song and like my habit, I played the best that suits the situation and started humming in my mind with David Choi

I'm just listening to the clock go ticking
I am waiting as the time goes by
I think of you with every breath I take
I need to feel your heartbeat next to mine
You're all I see in everything
I just wanna hold you
I just wanna kiss you
I just wanna love you all my life
I normally wouldn't say this but I just can't contain it
I want you here forever right here by my side…’

I was in bed looking up towards the roof and still thinking continuously about her. Gosh!! I check my phone to check the time. It was 4:30 am already. I had been instructed to report at 07:00 am for final inspection. I woke up and went to take a bath. Everybody was sleeping in the hostel. 2-3 tube lights were still on. Maybe gamer or NERDS. I got ready at around 5:15 am and had nothing to do as such. I decided to go for a walk. While everyone was still asleep, I silently left the room and was on the road near to college to give time to myself to think.
I saw her just a week back and today, I

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Her Story.

 It was some mid-night. I was checking facebook and has minimized gtalk. It would have been probably 01:00 a.m. Mother was calling me again and again, and I, I was stick to the screen. Facebook was getting bore, so I decide to watch some movie. I searched for some romantic movie in my computer. Suddenly the sound of Google talk notification buzzed up in between.
‘Hi’ the chat screen popped up. It was him.
Like any girl, millions of questions ran across in next few seconds. My eyes was still looking at the chat screen and the cursor was still blinking to send him a reply. The moment was just there, where I wanted myself in his world.

 ‘Hi.. wassup?’, I wrote.
‘Nothing much, was playing game. How about you? Wassup?’
‘Was watching a movie: P’
‘is time? Kya hi baat hai… ‘
‘haha :P’
‘is time pe kon movie dekhta hai…m sure tu koi hindi romantic picture laga k baithi hogi’
‘haha..aise hi bus..time pass :P’
And that’s how it started. It would have been a feeling of a fresh start to a relation for life, I never thought that. We would be talking to each other endlessly for nights someday, I never thought that.
We started chatting regularly then. Every night after dinner, we used to talk over internet for countless hours. We always started our chat with a smiley and ends with the same. Often, we would say good night and would keep talking for many more hours. We discussed our college, friends, life, songs, movies, places, his video games, my favorite dishes, his secrets & my personal secrets. We got attached soon. Some magic was happening probably. We were getting ‘used-to’ each other. Our lives were brilliant. Our friendship had some special bond. Everything we used to do, we do think about each other once before doing something.
One thing that was happening was really hurting me. We talked less, actually, nothing in person at college. Somehow and still unknown, few of our friends got to know about us. They started teasing us. The awkward moments surrounded us often then. We sometimes used to smile at them to avoid and many a times, we ignored. I tried harder to avoid this. I felt ignored many times, I still ignored, and after all, it was for his good sake. I remained calm and never showed him. It was tough time and I fought because I knew, this time will never affect our lives in coming years. And that moment,

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World’s Simplest Rule :)

Her words actually melted me and I realised-

I am so poor that I couldn’t understand world’s simplest rule.

Anisha won soul that day, although she had won my heart many weeks back; she was the one who could make me walk on the path of life and whom I could simply trust upon, with my eyes deeply closed. She was simply the one- the girl of my senses!

I didn’t have words to reply her, but just looked into her eyes; I could feel the pain she is

going through and the toughness she is seeing in her life- Unbearable!

I wished I could hold her in my arms and let her pour all the pain, into my heart, and make me feel that YES, I am the one who is actually hers; that was just I dream that I wanted to fulfilled always and that day, I decided to make it come true one day !

“ponnnnn…. Ponn-ponn….,” bus horn broke up the silence, and she waved up her hands passing me a fake smiled-face, this time, hiding all her pains and tears in her eyes and she turned her face from  me, leaving me all alone in the whole world. I felt that something really special in this world was going far from me and that too in front of

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The chapter of first kiss.

I took out my pen from pocket and started writing a letter cum poem, which I had written long ago and had planned to give it to someone very special to me, on the only tissue I found on that table.

I don’t worry about the dark; I know the sun is mine.

To bring me into light,

I know that it will shine. I know you are my sun.

I don’t worry about the sadness,

I know the rains will fall. To wash away all my tears,

they will come on my every call.

I know you are my rain,

I don’t worry about the world, because I fully believe in you. 

And whatever happens around,

This is how i shall always be yours forever.......

You are my world.

It is rightly said; when you are in love, you feel everything on this earth is yours and you can conquer this whole world with your love, true love.

I stood up and went straight to her folding my love for her in my hands so that she couldn’t see it. I sat beside her this time again taking her hands into mine, feeling the warmth of her love through her veins. We kept looking deep into each other’s eyes for a minute or so and then she then broke the silence, “kya dekh rhe ho?”

I smilingly replied, “I have rights to see you for my whole life now!” and passed her the folded tissue in my hand. She smiled and added, “I wish they remain copyright for me only!” and she started opening it…

I kept staring her, smiling and observed her too closely (Wish I had some magical eyes; you know what I mean) while she was concentrating on the paper. And all of a sudden, she broke into tears which were unexpected. I couldn’t bear that.

I stood up to hug her while she was still crying. I was trying to console her with my love and words; though I was much weak in that, but I tried my level best.

She then said with her childish voice, “Rajeev, I am feeling lucky to have you in my life. I never expected that you will win my heart like this. You are so much caring and loving. I feel like kissing you but the atmosphere around here doesn’t allow me to do that. Let’s move out somewhere else please.”

And how could I refuse her, after all I was expecting a kiss from my girl on my first date?

We picked up our bags and went to school ground, hand in hand and sat under the same tree where we used to spend hours.

I kept my head on her lapse and started feeling anxious, obviously. Everything seemed to be very special for that particular second.
First girlfriend, first date, first kiss….. PRICELESS feeling!
Rest remains the mystery !

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My words fade.

I met a girl,

with laughter in her eyes,.
In a single moment, my world confused.
The kind of girl,
that once-in-a-lifetime.
And all I had to offer
was a me-Myself.
The sun-kissed hair,
and a heart of gold,
I wish I could have been such bold,
Just to tell her once,
that 'You are beautiful'.
But, with my words,
No words seem suitable.
So, I watched a smile,
as I danced across her lips.
and my words fade.

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Love, Life & Internet.

We love, from miles away. We talk. We share. We chat. We loved to see each other, often through video chats. We used to make cute faces and often tease each other. We talked for long, whole nights. None of us was aware when the sun rose up. We slept in mornings, often. Our love was set as an example to others. We talked about our day schedule, sometimes about studies, many times about ourselves and often, love making. We were taking care from miles. There was a power of love that was keeping us together. I remember, how it started with and random friend request, to ‘friends’, and to ‘best friends’, and then, with our understanding, we didn’t need to share our feelings.

Her lustrous lips, her untidy glossy hairs and her shining tiny eyes; those looked more charming while talking on webcam. She looked cute.

One day, we were talking like another day, in our most romantic ways. She looked sad. I asked her many a times, she didn’t reply. There was something that was cooking up in her mind, millions of miles away from here. She wasn’t sharing. I tried every of the best possible way to please her. Suddenly, I came across an idea. It was tough to plan and leave her alone in such a time. But I had to do it. And I decided to leave her alone for next 10 minutes.

I managed everything in next eight minutes. It was time to go back online. I turned on my laptop, sat and kept everything exactly where it was required to be.

She was crying almost when I heard her voice. I asked her many times. And finally, she told. She was crying because of the long distances between us. She wanted to meet me. She wanted to

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The day Today !

Today, I am writing the book, rewinding my life in front of my eyes, and pausing each of the scenes to pen them down. The pressure cooker is whistling on one of the Saturdays, where my mother is cooking Rajma – Chawal for me in the kitchen. The romantic music is making my fingers flow on the beats. Mobile phone is kept on silent; I don’t want to affect my concentration.

I stood up and walked towards my cupboard. Few novels lie in stack at one corner; few read and few unread. ‘We’ used to share the best of the romantic love stories; reading together, looking into each other’s eyes when the romantic part in the novel starts. Secretly or unknowingly, I loved this way to reading together. Sometimes, we wished that our lives were so simple like that novel only. She used to kiss me when she read and so did I in my turns. It gradually became our habit to do the same. There had been none of the weekends in those days when ‘we’ didn’t met for reading the romantic tales. Often, she brought some Maggie to eat over. We saw dreams together. We made numberless promises. We loved every morning, because we knew what they were bringing for us. We knew how much we needed each other and we stayed together. Often when I see her, I love myself for the way I felt about her, every time. She used to write her name on my hands, in her cutest way. I loved when she used to drop a blank text over my phone. We walked whenever any of us was sad. She often used to hold my hands when we walked and say, “Until and unless I am holding you, we will make it”. I loved the feel the way we touched. I still can’t stop myself thinking about her. And this is my problem. Thinking too much, for the dreams and for the future, I will never have.  Turning over the countless pages of the novels ‘we’ shared, I found a

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The SMS conversation

‘Hey’, I texted her at 8:30 pm.

‘Message Sent Successfully’- The screen displayed.

A shiver of chill ran down my body, as I didn’t plan to share this with anyone. I was not tensed, but was thinking, how my girl would react on my decision.

               

‘Delivered to- Anisha’- beeped my TATA CDMA phone.

I checked my phone at least for couple of times in every 30 seconds. No replies.

I waited and thought about millions of possibilities that could be the reasons for not replying. Had she read message? Was she busy? Hope, her mom has not seen the phone. I went to balcony, I went to roof, and I went to street- so that I could get the best of the network. But, none worked.
‘She is my girlfriend... DAMIT!’ roared my mind every time I checked my phone. 

It was 9:45 pm and I didn’t get any of her reply. A thought of calling her passed across my mind. Checking the time, it was impossible to call her so as to keep her out of any kind of trouble. I looked up in the sky and wished! It was my day or maybe, it was by God’s grace that night, my phone beeped at 9:57 pm. It was her.

‘Hi.. Sry 2 reply late. I was bsy.’

As her boyfriend, I could never stop myself sending her an instant reply. I love her!

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Yes Plus, Bitch Please (Original by Tushar)

Hey, before you start reading this, let me make it very clear this piece of writing is intended for only those who aim to be great, I repeat, who aim to be great, I don’t care what you wish for, what your dreams are. This is not for pessimists, this is really not for optimists, but it’s for the realists, who believe in the real, in science, in facts. Even if you still want to read ahead, do it, don’t come back to me because 99% of you won’t understand this, you have been warned.
“Once upon a time, I was depressed, very depressed. My love had left me, I had earned myself an E grade in 3 subjects, my life had lost its meaning, and it was all over. But then my friend told me about a course called “Jeene ki kala”. I paid 2000 rupees and joined their session, my life changed.OMG! My love came back to me; I forgot about my E grades, my life had a meaning.”
Endless stories like these and endless fools like the one with the story above, I have just 2 words for you,
BITCH PLEASE.


Tricity: Chandigarh Panchkula and Mohali. Many engineering colleges, many engineering students yet same stories, same problems and same solutions to 95% of them, i.e. a program that can help their leadership skills, empower them, help them with their communication skills etc. And I thought I had learned all that at school.
Anyways, we all are college students, on an average each one of us has screwed a relation, fought with parents from choosing a program to choosing an ice cream flavor, stressed out and on an average every 7th student has an E grade to his name. So what does that make us, it makes us the stressed generation, aimless generation, stupid generation and a literally fucked up generation.
The country can never have any benefit from aimless wanderers, so who makes the most of them?
The programs designed to motivate them, bring out the best in them (depends from 6 days to 6 months depending on the amount of money you have paid).They know we are stressed, we have problems, we are emotionally and professionally stressed, Aww, this is so sweet, they come to our rescue, they want to make us happy, they want us to overcome our stress.
Alright, Enough of it.

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Secretly Loving you

Have you ever fallen in love with your friend and decided not to propose him/her as you fear to loose his/her friendship. This poem is written by a girl who has fallen in love with one of her friend and thus she decides to love him secretly without letting him know her feelings. I liked it, so wanted to share it.

I am in love with a guy who doesn't know it
And that's because I am afraid to show it
He would get upset if he knew how i felt
And even more for the pain I've dealt

If I told him our friendship would have to end
Then I couldn't even have him as a friend
I get so jealous, he likes her instead
I hate how this all goes through my head

If only you'd let me taste your sweet kiss
Maybe then I would know about all this
I could know for a fact that this was true

But now all I can say is that I love you
So please give me just one chance
To show you true, sweet, romance
I owe it to you, for all that you do
You make me happy, mad, and even sad too.

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Beginning & Ending.

As I sit down to pen my thoughts today
I find that the words are not getting in the way,
Nothing sounds right and nothing seems to fit
Changing the words around doesn’t help a bit.

I wonder, is it the fault of the words or is it mine
My thoughts are all scattered and hard to define,
Life is moving and changing at such a fast pace
Out with the old and yet no new to replace.

Goodbye to old concepts, people and things

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Talking to the moon !

I write because it takes me away, away to a place where anything is possible.

Writing makes me feel beyond what I can feel in my heart, imagine beyond what I see in my eyes, love beyond I experienced and write beyond I never thought.

Oh dear moon, please move slowly in the dark skies, the dreams will be shattered. I want to recite all my writing to you!

The coffee that I share all alone, under your dim lights, is getting stronger every night so that I can tell you my stories. Let me remember love is happiness, and nothing else brings joy. And so I choose to entertain no substitutes for love. Let me remember my love, who gave me the greatest feeling in the world to be around her who wants to hold me, wants to kiss my forehead, wants to call me at night, and wants to see me smile. But now,

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Coming back alone.

Walking alone is not difficult...
But after having "walked a mile with someone"
"Coming back alone" is more difficult.
It is the feeling of being rejected.
It is the feeling of being betrayed.

You imagine another world with them, where you see yourself with them, always. Atleast my heart feels, 'There had been a problem with me only.'
We ourselves become the real culprit ultimately by cursing ourseves. The truth is, when you live with the same words, ' Sorry.. We can't stay together..We have to stop it..' surrender you all the time, NOBODY, yes, NOBODY on this planet is affected. Colours shine, Sun rises & the Stars twinkle. One thing happens for sure- You forget to laugh and live the life.

I hate being nice and true and still being betrayed. I hate being simple and trust worthy and still listeing to your lies as truths. I hate being caring and still expecting from you, who had absolutley nothing inside their heart to actualy care about me.
I sacrifised myself for her, and she left telling her helplessness.
My life is swinging in a storm.
Clouds are thundering, Winds are blowing fast.
In my own eyes, I am seraching for an edge.
I miss hearing her voice, I miss seeing her smiling, but most of all I miss her!
I know, she will remember me , when someone will leave her.
Wish, There was someone to listen depressed stories of my sad heart.
~Now, I will have to live like this, I smile, when I think like that.

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Her beauty is the synonym of gorgeousness !

The moment she falls asleep, I can’t resist myself to lay down next to her…

I wanted to spend my entire life gazing at her beautiful kissing eyebrows , the pink lustrous lips, her glossy hairs. Her beauty is the synonym of gorgeousness…
Her cutest expressions while she sleeps, her hands; resting around my waist & She, too close, yet inside my heart.

I wanted to stop the time on that very moment. I felt so complete rewinding every single picture from how we started. And I paused the scene, where she had already slept , right in front of me.

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Perhaps that's enough.

It seems we never remember the most important things — or maybe it just seems that they are the most important only because we don’t remember them. If we did remember them, it would be some other forgotten thing that became more important.

I don’t remember all the conversations we had, and I don’t remember all the times you made me laugh. I don’t remember how your breath felt in my ear, or if you even ever breathed in my ear, although it’s a safe assumption you probably did.

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Have you ever got that feeling ?

Hey, have you ever got that feeling where you just want to talk to someone. Not just someone you know, someone you want to? With whom, you can be able to talk about anything and everything because you’re on the same page with things. Where you can look at someone and want to talk to them because they’re not rude, or superficial, or annoying, or immature, or old, or young… Someone you are just an equal to ; yet not have to be a lover. Someone you could sit with for hours and just chat, observe, and share comfort in the fact that you two can just connect when it comes to the topic of conversation.

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What should I say?

Was she a dream, or like a dream, or some truth?
what my dreamy eyes always saw!
Was it false or truth, I never gave a single thought!
Even my heart didn't know about it :/
She was never mine, she was never my dream, she was never my shadow
She still stood by me,
She walked with me: every single time!
Like the memories, like the talks,
like the dreams, like the promises;
my day ended with myself!
I have kept every word she said in the memories; Don't know why?

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She is so damn beautiful :)

She looked at me and it was as if God himself plucked the stars from the skies And placed them in her eyes. And I realized I could get lost in he.  In the sheer force of her being, My fingertips tracing winding paths over her familiar skin as if it were unknown territory. I realized I would like nothing more than to string together the planets and drape them around her neck.

She is so damn beautiful. She could be my universe !

~from 'Why Writing is Good for Soul' :)

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I believe in Me !

This is not my own writing but I loved it !

For many years of my life
I wore my heart for all to see
Making it much too easy
For others to take advantage of me.

I lived and I loved many times
To the loftiest heights
Always crashing to the ground
When my loves took wings of flight.

I put my whole being into love
Never thinking of myself
Whatever I truly needed
Was put high upon a shelf.

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When Everyday Objects Come Alive & Amazing!

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