Friday, April 05, 2013

An year later.


“I regret my decision of breaking up with you. Rajat was the not the man I expected him to be. Our love was at the cloud nine. I had totally fallen for him. I want to confess something in front of you that last week; Rajat took me out to dinner to a hotel where we made passionate love later that night. Just after two days he showed his true colours. He stopped answering my calls and didn't respond to any of the messages and that evening, he replied that he wants to breakup for the silly reason that he needs to focus on his career. I felt I am being used and thrown. I couldn't share this with anybody from then. I cried every night. Mohit and I are no longer friends. I recalled every mistake I did and realized that you are the man who knows how to bring me out of any of the troubles. I feel like slapping tight on Rajat’s face right now, but I can’t. Saril, I really miss who I was and what we had. I miss the fun we used to have together. I often used to think about us. I remember how we used to talk to each other every day, I miss that. I read somewhere that our heart is where it comes to the last person we think of at the night before we sleep. It’s been a year that we started the journey though I left you alone in between. I am sorry Saril”, she ended the big story she wanted to tell me.

“You are sorry? Well, I am sorry too. Sorry that you lost the one person that could love the way you deserved to be loved. I wonder what I mean to you now. I have self-respect as well."
“Saril, I know how you are feeling right now”. She leaned over my shoulder and beautifully held my hands, maybe just to make me realize her love, she continued, “If a girl like me is stupid enough to love you back after hurting you, trust me, I will never leave you again.”
“I am mature enough that I could easily forgive you. But I am not dumb enough to trust you again. I am a kind of person whom you
 didn't recognize. I will stay committed to a girl as long as she could do the same, else, I would quit myself. In our case, you did. I know how our book will end, why would I read it again? I respect only those girls who can stick to their man. I cannot blame you for walking away as well because I did nothing to make you stay with me just because I listen to my heart and thought about your happiness. Ever since you came into my life, I couldn't help myself thinking about anybody else. People say boys make their girls jealous of other girls. I am not such a man. I wanted to make other girls jealous because you were with me. That much I loved you. I wrote a book for you sleeplessly overnights. And you slept with a guy you barely knew from a month? How anybody can be so stupid? Love sucks, I understood it totally”, I said everything that was hidden in my heart from a year.
She started crying. I wanted to clear her tears off. Her eye liner almost reached to her chin. I wished I could hug her tightly and could make her happy. But I didn't  I could have patched up with her, but I didn't  It was too late for her to realize the love, maybe which never happened to her. I couldn't start the next chapter of my life if I would have kept reading the previous one.
Legends said that when you are about to die, your life rewinds in front of you, make sure it’s worth watching. I know when it will happen to me; this particular chapter will struck up and will come in front of my eyes again and again.