Accepting the truth.

Whole night, I kept looking at the bracelet. “What I am going to do with it now?” I thought. I walked out of the room and stood in the balcony. I looked up and imagined Somebody somewhere across the sky.

‘Why did you do this to me? I remember I talked to you last time when we were together. And today, You have made the things worse. I know, this is nobody’s fault, but, you can help me only right now. You already know every detail of the situation I am in. Unfortunately, I want to be out of it. Bring me calls, text, emails, trust…please. Today, that’s all I need to carry on, and it isn't much to ask You for. I am your child. You have done beyond enough for me, but I can't help but ask for more. Because, truly, you are the only one who can bring this storm to peace, who can un-shatter these broken pieces, who can smooth the pottery into something so perfect. So please, do this for me. Can on time be today? Please...?’
And I stood there for an hour in a false hope, waiting for some miracle to happen. It didn't  I recalled the time of last fest in the college, when we both became friends and I started taking dreams. Then came the time when they came true. We shared the priceless moments, though for a very short span. I wondered if I was only sleeping from last few months. I wished that it was merely a dream that I saw. But, I had to accept the truth and none stood there by my side to support me. I felt the chill that ran across my body many times. I wanted to jump from the balcony for a couple of seconds. Then, I struggled to make myself strong. My eyes were wet. I had nothing to do. I don’t smoke. I would have flown away the tensions in the rings of the smoke. Life had put me on a way that I couldn't decide and even think. All the emotions that I had collected from years were flowing out in tears and my mouth was zipped to silence. I could hear

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Memories never fade.

Our exams were over and the semester was over. The winter breaks were on. I stayed home and of course, on my laptop most of the time. My mother used to scold me for sitting on the computer continuously for hours. And then, the volume level of my woofers used to annoy everyone. New Year was approaching and I used to compare myself in every aspect with the year that was passing. I had found someone; I could pass my life with. It found a good friend, Tanisha, with whom I used to share my day talks. She was 2 year junior though. It was mid of August that year that I sent a random friend request to a girl, like a dumb boy would do. She didn't accept it so earlier. She was getting into our college in September. For a long time, we used to talk in messages, but we were not friends yet. And then, like slowly and slowly, things got better, we used to talk whole day. She was a cute little girl who would always send me a single smiley ‘:P’ at the end of every text. It was funny. She made me laugh often. Actually, we used to laugh. We never met in person, but we shared all. It was funny, but I liked it though. We never talked over phone, but we were texting friends. I loved it. That year, I was handling the responsibility at the auditorium where the fresher would sit and would listen to the boring ppts and other speeches. We met in person there only for the very first time. I, along with one of my friends, Iqbal was handling the stage during the stage for some starting informal conversation with the juniors. We told them about the college life and the rules. We made them comfortable and they joined us in laughter soon. We were asking few questions in between too. She dropped me a text, ‘Don’t ask me anything’. I looked at her and promised her with my eyes. She sent me a smiley. We met later during lunch and that too for a short span. She was a little kiddo, who had a smile on her face all the time even without reasons. Though I was a senior, I never presented like the one to her. We were friends. Often, she used to say, ‘ I wish you were

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The chapter of first kiss.

I took out my pen from pocket and started writing a letter cum poem, which I had written long ago and had planned to give it to someone very special to me, on the only tissue I found on that table.

I don’t worry about the dark; I know the sun is mine.

To bring me into light,

I know that it will shine. I know you are my sun.

I don’t worry about the sadness,

I know the rains will fall. To wash away all my tears,

they will come on my every call.

I know you are my rain,

I don’t worry about the world, because I fully believe in you. 

And whatever happens around,

This is how i shall always be yours forever.......

You are my world.

It is rightly said; when you are in love, you feel everything on this earth is yours and you can conquer this whole world with your love, true love.

I stood up and went straight to her folding my love for her in my hands so that she couldn’t see it. I sat beside her this time again taking her hands into mine, feeling the warmth of her love through her veins. We kept looking deep into each other’s eyes for a minute or so and then she then broke the silence, “kya dekh rhe ho?”

I smilingly replied, “I have rights to see you for my whole life now!” and passed her the folded tissue in my hand. She smiled and added, “I wish they remain copyright for me only!” and she started opening it…

I kept staring her, smiling and observed her too closely (Wish I had some magical eyes; you know what I mean) while she was concentrating on the paper. And all of a sudden, she broke into tears which were unexpected. I couldn’t bear that.

I stood up to hug her while she was still crying. I was trying to console her with my love and words; though I was much weak in that, but I tried my level best.

She then said with her childish voice, “Rajeev, I am feeling lucky to have you in my life. I never expected that you will win my heart like this. You are so much caring and loving. I feel like kissing you but the atmosphere around here doesn’t allow me to do that. Let’s move out somewhere else please.”

And how could I refuse her, after all I was expecting a kiss from my girl on my first date?

We picked up our bags and went to school ground, hand in hand and sat under the same tree where we used to spend hours.

I kept my head on her lapse and started feeling anxious, obviously. Everything seemed to be very special for that particular second.
First girlfriend, first date, first kiss….. PRICELESS feeling!
Rest remains the mystery !

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The SMS conversation

‘Hey’, I texted her at 8:30 pm.

‘Message Sent Successfully’- The screen displayed.

A shiver of chill ran down my body, as I didn’t plan to share this with anyone. I was not tensed, but was thinking, how my girl would react on my decision.

               

‘Delivered to- Anisha’- beeped my TATA CDMA phone.

I checked my phone at least for couple of times in every 30 seconds. No replies.

I waited and thought about millions of possibilities that could be the reasons for not replying. Had she read message? Was she busy? Hope, her mom has not seen the phone. I went to balcony, I went to roof, and I went to street- so that I could get the best of the network. But, none worked.
‘She is my girlfriend... DAMIT!’ roared my mind every time I checked my phone. 

It was 9:45 pm and I didn’t get any of her reply. A thought of calling her passed across my mind. Checking the time, it was impossible to call her so as to keep her out of any kind of trouble. I looked up in the sky and wished! It was my day or maybe, it was by God’s grace that night, my phone beeped at 9:57 pm. It was her.

‘Hi.. Sry 2 reply late. I was bsy.’

As her boyfriend, I could never stop myself sending her an instant reply. I love her!

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Secretly Loving you

Have you ever fallen in love with your friend and decided not to propose him/her as you fear to loose his/her friendship. This poem is written by a girl who has fallen in love with one of her friend and thus she decides to love him secretly without letting him know her feelings. I liked it, so wanted to share it.

I am in love with a guy who doesn't know it
And that's because I am afraid to show it
He would get upset if he knew how i felt
And even more for the pain I've dealt

If I told him our friendship would have to end
Then I couldn't even have him as a friend
I get so jealous, he likes her instead
I hate how this all goes through my head

If only you'd let me taste your sweet kiss
Maybe then I would know about all this
I could know for a fact that this was true

But now all I can say is that I love you
So please give me just one chance
To show you true, sweet, romance
I owe it to you, for all that you do
You make me happy, mad, and even sad too.

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Talking to the moon !

I write because it takes me away, away to a place where anything is possible.

Writing makes me feel beyond what I can feel in my heart, imagine beyond what I see in my eyes, love beyond I experienced and write beyond I never thought.

Oh dear moon, please move slowly in the dark skies, the dreams will be shattered. I want to recite all my writing to you!

The coffee that I share all alone, under your dim lights, is getting stronger every night so that I can tell you my stories. Let me remember love is happiness, and nothing else brings joy. And so I choose to entertain no substitutes for love. Let me remember my love, who gave me the greatest feeling in the world to be around her who wants to hold me, wants to kiss my forehead, wants to call me at night, and wants to see me smile. But now,

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How we grew up ?

We were young and innocent
I can’t help but to think that we fell in love at just the right time because we knew everything about our feelings.
The love we shared was pure and untouched , A lot like us.
What we had was untainted by honest motives

We found each other before we found ourselves
Handed our hearts over to each other as if they were sandwiches at the lunch table
We know each other better than we know ourselves,
because we watched one another mature
And I’ve never watched the metamorphous of a tad pole to a fully grown frog

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